all i ever learned i learned from anime

ja, gal kiek ir ilgokas, bet šis tas nuotaikos pakėlimui.

War sucks.

You CAN have too many women.

Smart people wear glasses.

Music foreshadows plot.

The less you care about sex, the more opportunities you’ll get.

(Inversely, the harder you try, the less you’ll get.)

When you die, make a long speech, and don’t finish the last sentence.

Snow means love.

The best teams come in fives.

In space, you can hear everything.

There’s always room for flashbacks!

The good guy always has the BLUE glow.

Speak quietly, pilot a big mech.

Believe in goddesses.

Teachers have excellent aim with small objects.

Honor is sexy; villainy is irresistible.

Women are attracted to losers; men are attracted to ANYTHING.

The coolest weapon is still the sword.

The hero is never really mad until they hurt his girlfriend.

Female androids are sexy; male androids are….male androids.

The green-haired alien girl will always betray her people for the man she loves.

School uniforms are cool only when the collar is open.

Love knows no race, species, or logic.

Never trust a huge corporation.

Romance never comes simpler than in a triangle.

Never fall in love with a psychic.

You can never have too much hair.

Sweating is a sure sign of stress.

Everyone wants to conquer Japan.

Cherry blossoms mean nostalgia.

Always take gravity into account.

If she sings, she’s doomed.

You always remember the sad endings.

Double suicide is romantic.

Outrageous vehicles only make the hero cooler.

Fancy ice cream is for girls only.

The most virtuous character will die.

No matter how much blood is lost, no one can die by a nosebleed.

(The same theory above applies to vomiting.)

The girl with the curly hair is always the seductress.

If a sister falls in love with her brother, somewhere down the line you will discover that they’re not blood related.

The guy in the baseball cap is always more powerful than he seems.

All demons/monsters have enormous genitalia.

All young children can pilot mecha, you just need to give them a few days.

It is possible to incorporate martial arts into any aspect of life.

All high school kids in Japan have parents that are away on extended business trips.

Consuming enormous amounts of alcohol daily will never have ill effects.

All major villains either want to take over the world or blow it up.

Everyone in Japan has excellent singing voices.

No matter how many times you rebuild, Tokyo keeps getting destroyed in a massive fireball.

The martial arts expert is always defenseless against a slap from the girl who loves him.

Food is a powerful motivator.

The longer it takes to say what your punch is called, the less effective it is.

“Baka” does not mean a student going for his baccalaureate degree.

The two-foot-tall old geezer is someone to be feared.

No matter how big the mech/labor/mobile suit is, if it runs around the corner, the guy chasing it loses the trail.

The fate of the planet rests in the hands of the seemingly normal high school student.

The heroine must shred her clothes while transforming into something to fight the bad guys.

True evil can never be destroyed, only banished to some nether realm where it awakes after a few hundred years.

Even the bravest souls can be made weak and helpless by the sight of a cute little puppy or kitten.

All persons under the age of 50 can do a ten foot vertical jump from a standing position.

Never trust a guy with shiny teeth

The vampire isn’t _always_ the bad guy

Idiot captains win battles against impossible odds

The police are never anywhere there is a large amount of property damage.

All people with esper powers give off multicolored auras.

Just about any outer space villain has his sights set on destroying the Earth.

(in conjunction with #67) No other planet in the universe will be able to stop said villain except the Earth.

Any character can make a leap of 300 ft or more if given a good running start.

A samurai sword can cut through anything.

All characters over the age of 60 shrink in height in direct proportion to their age.

When uncovering a fabulous treasure, the thing will be large enough to completely destroy any surrounding structures.

Anime villians have the best deaths.

Mallets can be stored anywhere on anybody.

If the lyrics to the OP song are printed on the screen, then you’re watching a show that’s not for your age group.

The sexiest girls are drawn by artists whose last names start with “U”.

The hero always loses the first fight with a new enemy.

Don’t trust the guys with two earrings.

Any truly evil person who changes sides for the woman he loves will die in that episode.

Hair comes in every shade of the rainbow – and we do mean pink, purple, blue, green….

The song “Cry Me a River” takes on a whole new meaning.

(c) Laura Luchau

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